Murphy's Mothers Laws

Some funny "Murphy's Law" laws for you to ponder...

• Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't.
• A mother's love is a better cure than chicken soup, but chicken soup is cheaper. 
• Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself. 
• Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won't know either, but she will fake it. 
• Maternal instinct is stronger than any force known except an IRS collection agent. 
• The more you try to stay on your mother's good side the harder it will be to figure out which side this is. 
• The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten. 
• If you can't remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn't. 
• The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you. 
• If you forget, mom will remind you of all your mistakes so you don't repeat them. 
• Anything you do can be criticized by your mother - even doing nothing. 
• Never criticize your mother's cooking if you expect to get any more of it.
• If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who has changed your diapers.
• You can't "out mother" your mother. Don't even try. 
• Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it. 
• The harder you try to hide something from your mother, the more she resembles a webcam.

I thought these were pretty funny because they are mostly true. :) There's more on the following site source(s):

Source: http://www.humorcolumnist.com & http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-Mothers.htm

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!  

Funny Banned TV Commerical - Concorde

Lol, I enjoy watching these funny commercials. Some are just way too funny. Hopefully you get a good laugh out of them too. :)

Shirley And Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.

So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew. She did this for the entire week.

As the two kids walked and talked, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week?

Do you know her?'

Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.'

The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?'

'That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.'

'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us? '

'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

Trading Sexes

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was

Mothers Wisdom

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mother,

I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Love John

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mum