How the Angel Became Atop the Christmas Tree - Funny Christmas Joke

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house.

Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax. When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down.

Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatened "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?" And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.  

Source: http://www.jokecenter.com

Babies In Costumes Are So Cute And Funny

These pictures of babies dressed up in cute costumes are just way too cute and funny!

 Credit For These Pics go to: buburuza.net

Jim's Anniversary Present - Funny Short Joke

Jim was in trouble. He had forgotten that the next day was his Wedding Anniversary. His wife was getting quite fumed suspecting that her husband forgot. She ended up advising him, "Tomorrow morning, I trust I will find a present from you in our driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BEST BE THERE!!" So, the next morning arrived and Jim got ready and left for work bright and early. When Jim's wife awoke, she scrambled to to window to peek and see if her husband took her to heart. Low and behold, she sure enough took notice of a box that was gift-wrapped right in the middle of the driveway. Somewhat confused, Jim's wife threw on her robe and ran out to the driveway. She brought the box into the house. She opened it and found a brand spanking new bathroom weight scale. Since then, Jim has been missing... I thought this joke was quite hilarious. It's not meant to offend anyone, so please don't be. It's only a joke...meant to be funny and make you laugh. Please laugh with me. :) Thanks much, Cheers.

Funny Birthday - Dear Diary Joke

Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a whole week of personal training at the local health club for me!!!! I am so excited!!!!

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. Oh, wow, a real Barbie doll!!!

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!


TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.


WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the STAIR MONSTER. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other stupid stuff too.


THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny model to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.


FRIDAY:

I hate that awful Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would punch her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. Yes, even my thumbs hurt. For heaven's sake, my HAIR hurts!!!!


SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank God that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little idiot) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!! Or Godiva chocolates!!!!


Source: http://www.squidoo.com/funny-emails2

Hilarious Youtube Video Of Oops And Ouch Moments

This is a hilarious video, a must see. Best humor.





  

These are them oops and ouch type of moments that make us laugh watching it happen to others, probably not so funny; more so embarrassing to those it's happening to. But, in the long run, they too will be able to get a good laugh out of watching themselves. :) lol

Feel free to share a good joke if you have one that's not already on this website. Cheers!

Why Men Can Pee Standing Up

Can You Run On Water? It's Called Liquid Mountaineering, Very Cool

This is awesome - Liquid Mountaineering. Run on water without any sort of magic. Very Cool.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Mischievous Old Grandmas

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by.

And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.'

One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your

exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

Cape Bretoner's New 25lbs Baby Boy

A Cape Bretoner is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Cape Breton baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Cape Bretoner just shrugs, "That's about average down home, folks...like I said, my boy's a typical Cape Breton baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW"! were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Cape Breton baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you, so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father