Pick The Best Dog

Which Dog is Best?

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named "Slide Rule". He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog "Measure" was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.

All three men agreed this was very good and that their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the union member and said, "What can your dog do?". The Teamster called his dog whose name was "Coffee Break" and said, "Show the fellows what you can do". Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, went to the bathroom on the paper, claimed he injured his back while eating, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for Workmen's Compensation and left for home on sick leave.

Check out uberhumor.com's Funny Photos and other Funny Content

Do you like to laugh? Is laughing healthy? How can uberhumor's pics help you get your dose of daily joy?

Well, they have a huge collection of funny photos, videos & pictures you must check out if you enjoy laughing. Everyone needs a good laugh now and again to relieve some stress and this site uberhumor.com contains a bunch of funny content that's sure to make you and your friends laugh. It's updated daily and nicely categorized so you can find what's most appealing to you. I got some great laughs from every link I clicked on within the site and believe you will too if you've got a good sense of 'ha, ha' :)

Ever seen a porcupine that thinks it's a puppy? Or a baby dolphin in the womb? Or a fellow walking his fish? lol, well, if not you can now at uberhumor.com along with many other unique funny video's and pictures. See for yourself, visit their site, kick back, relax and get a good laugh! Cheers to good health and humor!

Why Men Can Pee Standing Up

An Italian Boy's Confession

This could only happen with a little Italian kid..

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned..  I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Maria Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her...'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My 2 lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you. '

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

4 months vacation and five good leads.

Who Enjoys a Certain 'Act' More; Women or Men?

Time to really test your sense of humor.

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this--When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"

Thanks to Rich Costick for sharing this hilarious joke!

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!  

Saturday Night Bath - Funny Joke About Nuns

This joke's about two Nun's who are told different things by Father John during Saturday night Bath Time. The end result is pretty funny.

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord
keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace.

And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old bastard" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriele's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years."

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers! 

Worse Parents Ever - Funny Video

This is a funny video of parents trying to scare their kids after they stayed up all night watching Chainsaw Massacre. They got em pretty good. lol

 

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!

Bob Rescues Choking Woman - Funny Video

This video is hilarious. I had read a joke about this happening called "Bob Rescues Woman From Choking", but I hadn't seen the video of it until now. I got good laugh out of it and hope you do too. :)

 

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!

Laughter Is the Master Of ALL Medicine

What are your thoughts on laughter and what types of things make you laugh the most? I'd love to hear from you. Even if you have a funny story or something that you wish to share. I'd be most happy to post it here with your permission. Or just share your views of laughter and humor. We need more of it (I think) because it's so vital to our lives.

I've heard somewhere before that human beings are the only species that are capable of laughter, but I recently heard that laughter is believed to have evolved from our ancient primate ancestors "panting behavior". Instead of laughing like humans, apes pant when tickled or play socially.

Other animals make different sounds when playing, but they are so different that it's difficult to equate them with laughter like humans. For instance, rats make high-pitched vocal sounds when playing or tickled.

On average, most adults laugh about 17 times per day. Children laugh more because they play more.

Everyone laughs, yet not all of us find the same things to be funny. Additionally, we find different things to be humorous at different stages of our life.

Laughing 100 times is equivalent to a 10 minute work out on a rowing machine, or 15 minutes on an exercise bike according to scientific studies.Laughter can benefit us physically, psychologically and physiologically.

Laughing not only exercises our facial muscles, it also exercises the abdomen, respiratory, diaphragm, leg and back muscles. It's the easiest form of exercise there is.

Laughter also benefits us by reducing stress levels, lowering blood pressure, providing a coping mechanism for handling undesirable situations, promotes healing, increases vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood and it improves our metal health overall.

We can't just simply make a decision to laugh, laughter happens unconsciously. Laughter is hard to fake; even though we can consciously inhibit it, it's not as if we consciously produce it.

We laugh when we hear sounds of laughter because it's also very contagious.

We find jokes to be funny for many of different reasons. Sometimes they make us feel superior to others, they can reduce anxiety-provoking situations, but the most popular theory is due to of incongruity; when we are surprised at the end.

May you laugh lots, live happily, stay healthy and enjoy life always. :0)

P.S. Don't forget to share some of your thoughts if you don't mind please. Just leave a comment here. Thanks so much.

Kentucky Cut Humour

Please do NOT be offended by this joke as it's intended for just a laugh. If you are offended, please contact me and I will remove it from this site. Thank you for your input. I hope you can find the humour in it though :) God Bless all you Rednecks and everyone out there!!

Brand new edition of...'You know you're a redneck when......'

Just ask for the '  KENTUCKY CUT'

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.