Before And After Photos Of Celebrities

Just put some pics of before and afters of celebrities. Check them out at Before And After Celeb Photos.html Here's a peek:

Funny Technology

Funny Technology seems to be becoming quite the thing. I'm noticing more and more lately that there are so many funny things about technology that are even unimaginable. I can't get over some of what's out there these days. I'm sure there's a ton of things that have been done with technology that we have not even heard of yet. A lot of the things we can do with technology is so cool. Check out some of these funny technology things at Funny Technology.

Hilarious, Funny Smart Phone Auto Correct Messages

Ever been the website called damnyouautocorrect? It's hilarious. These so called 'smart phones' and their spell check is not so smart after all. Here's some of what I mean below (LOL). These messages that come out of auto corrections are just too funny. If you have a smart phone, you'll get a good laugh from these "auto corrects".

Source: damnyouautocorrect 

Feel free to share a good joke if you have one that's not already on this website. Cheers!

Can You Memorize These Computer Acronyms?

1. PCMCIA = People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
2. ISDN = It Still Does Nothing
3. APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
4. SCSI = System Can't See It
5. DOS = Defective Operating System
6. BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
7. IBM = I Blame Microsoft
8. DEC -Do Expect Cuts
9. CD-ROM
10. Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
11. WWW = World Wide Wait
12. MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
13. PENTIUM = Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
14. COBOL = Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
15. AMIGA = A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
16. LISP = Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
17. MIPS = Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
18. WINDOWS = Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
19. GIRO = Garbage In Rubbish Out
20. MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.

Source:  http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Computer-Jokes/Computer-Acronyms.html

Heve You Ever Heard Of Earth's Life Clock?

This is a very interesting read. I have never heard of the Earth's Life Clock or Earth's Clock Of Life before, but I just read this article and was quite intrigued. I thought you readers may find this to be of interest. :) It may not be humorous, but it's fascinating.

An illustration from “The Life and Death of Planet Earth” shows the authors’ view of the Earth’s clock of life. (Image credit: Donald Brownlee/Peter Ward)
In its 4.5 billion years, Earth has evolved from its hot, violent birth to the celebrated watery blue planet that stands out in pictures from space. But in a new book, two noted University of Washington astrobiologists say the planet already has begun the long process of devolving into a burned-out cinder, eventually to be swallowed by the sun.
By their reckoning, Earth’s “day in the sun” has reached 4:30 a.m., corresponding to its 4.5 billion-year age. By 5 a.m., the 1 billion-year reign of animals and plants will come to an end. At 8 a.m. the oceans will vaporize. At noon – after 12 billion years – the ever-expanding sun, transformed into a red giant, will engulf the planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed and sending molecules and atoms that once were Earth floating off into space.
“The disappearance of our planet is still 7.5 billion years away, but people really should consider the fate of our world and have a realistic understanding of where we are going,” said UW astrophysicist Donald Brownlee. “We live in a fabulous place at a fabulous time. It’s a healthy thing for people to realize what a treasure this is in space and time, and fully appreciate and protect their environment as much as possible.”
In “The Life and Death of Planet Earth,” Brownlee and UW paleontologist Peter Ward use current scientific understanding of planets and stars, as well as the parameters of life, to provide a glimpse of the second half of life on Earth and what comes after.

Can You Run On Water? It's Called Liquid Mountaineering, Very Cool

This is awesome - Liquid Mountaineering. Run on water without any sort of magic. Very Cool.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Funny Commercial Video

Haha... I got a kick out of this funny commercial. Hope you do too. LOL.

Blonde Lands On Sun

An American, Russian, and Blonde were talking one day. The American said, "we were the first on the moon!"

The Russian then turned and said, "We were the first to travel to space!"

The Blonde chimed in and said, "Yeah, so what? We're going to be the first to land on the sun!"

Both the American and Russian looked at one another and shook their heads. "It's impossible to land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up in a flash before you even reach it!"

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We are going to go at night!"

Who I'd Assign a Certain Caller Ringtone to and Why

I love caller ringtones because they can have a special meaning to someone in your life who calls you often. Those who call end up listening to a song you assigned to them instead of a plain, bland ring that has no meaning.

If I were to assign an EMI or Warner Artist ringtone to someone, it would have to the "Waking Up In Vegas (Video Mix)" Ringtone by Katy Perry - (katy perry ringtones) to my ex-boyfriend because he was caught cheating on me in Vegas with a dominatrix. After I learned of his infidelity, he tried to make it up to me by buying me fancy gifts and jewelery, etc. He must have either figured I was 'THAT' stupid, or he himself was 'THAT' smart. I'm sure he'd like to think he was that smart. (lol)

I certainly wasn't going to give in to him after that, but he's still tries on several occasions to call me and get back with me. I find it funny actually that he still does, so I feel this ringtone would be a perfect one to assign to him.

On the other hand, I love the comedy ringtones as well and would assign one by Family Guy to my daughter called "Chris Mom, Look At Me", because she's always tapping and poking at me to get my attention. She's just the funniest, cutest little princess, but has a lot of energy and spunk when it comes to demanding paying her attention regardless of what I'm doing at the time. Having said that, the "Chris Mom, Look At Me" would be a perfect ringtone to assign to her.

Funny 404 Error Messages

We've all encountered 404 error messages trying to go to a link. It's an HTTP status code that indicates a web page can’t be found. Someone got creative and customized their 404 message to be amusingly funny.

Are You Addicted to the Net?

Top Signs of Net Addiction

• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
• You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
• You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
• You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
• You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
• You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
• You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
• You start using smileys in your snail mail.
• Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. And you succeed.

Little Eric

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?  He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

'No,' I replied.  'Write it down,' he said, 'and

HELLO Tech Support

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?'
Operator: Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open..'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I Need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am Traveling in Australia?'
Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change
the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I LOVE THIS ONE!!!

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should
have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline,
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Funny British Post Cards

I don't make em' I just pass em' on lol ... thanks to my good friend for e-mailing them to me.

Funny Yet Sad

This is funny, yet sad; only 54 years ago . . .


Comments made in the year 1955!

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one.

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store...

'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon.

Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.

'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball?

It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than

Amazing Miniatur Wunderland Model Railroad

This is so creative and amazing!


The Miniatur Wunderland model railroad in Hamburg, Germany is the largest in the world, covering 16,146 square feet of space with more than 10,000 train cars running around its 6.8 miles of HO scale track. Now, the makers of this huge layout have created a video that gives you a jaw-dropping look at the vast scope of this intricate work of art.

Its construction started in 2000, and is still underway, with a tiny airport due for completion by the end of this year. This is just the beginning - there are plans to double the layout by 2014. We especially like the Las Vegas portion, complete with dazzling LEDs lighting up the night.

You have to watch the new video above to get the full impact of this remarkable achievement, which has taken in excess of 500,000 working hours to build. There's a good reason why this is Germany's most popular attraction, already visited by more than 5 million flabbergasted tourists.

A Nun's Fortune

A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT, WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO .

SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME.'

SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE, STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT HER NICKEL IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO .'

THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE. THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT HER NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ:

'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE.'

THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF, 'I KNOW THAT IS WRONG, I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE.' SHE SAT BACK DOWN.

FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT BETWEEN THEM.

WITHOUT THINKING, SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE, TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.
SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE, SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING,
'THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'

BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT, PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT. IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS , YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND.' NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG ,AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE.' BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE SHE SLIPPED,AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.

ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE. SHE SAID TO HERSELF, 'THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'SHE WENT BACK TO THE MACHINE,PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL And ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.

IT READ, 'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS, YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO '

Wooden Rollercoaster Made For Scating On Foot

This is so awesome... totally insane, but a very cool invention indeed. Lol

An adrenaline junkie has taken in-line skating to new heights and set a new world record after racing down a roller coaster at speeds of 56mph.

Dirk Auer decided to go where no sane man or woman had gone before and skated down an 860 metre track in just over a minute.

Wearing specially designed in-line skates, the German made the attempt on the Mammoth roller coaster at the Trips Drill theme park in Stuttgart.

Check out the full story at: www.dailymail.co.uk

The Year 1908 - More Cool Stuff To Ponder

908 FORD Model R

This will probably boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1908.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :
*****************************************************

The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles
Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Technical Support Calls

The following are a number of transcribed conversations to technical support departments:

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Christine says: A white one...

===============

Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
desk.. Sorry....

===============

Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and --.
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

==============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

==============

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.

===============

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies..

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

===============

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

===============

And last, but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Mickey, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!