Various Cute Pics and Of The Calgary Zoo

Here's a fun trip to the Calgary Zoo as well as some other very adorable, cute pictures :).

Funny Irish Birth Control Joke

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?' She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle.'

35 Tips On How To Relieve, Avoid And Reduce Stress

Although a good sense of humor can't cure everything, it does prove to have many benefits to laughter, therefore, relieving stress. 

Here's 35 ways to Relieve, Avoid And Reduce stress:
Into each life some stress must fall. But when "some" turns into "too much", try a few of these stress building tips.

Stress can be related to unhappy or happy events. It can be triggered by trivial matters as well as major life crises. It also builds up gradually when you have more things to do than time in which to do them. Some doctors believe that 90% of all illnesses are stress related. But stress is not necessarily bad. A life without it would be stagnant and boring.

There are many practical ways to avoid, reduce or relieve stress.

Relieving Stress:

1. Touch - hold hands, stroke a pet, hug someone you love. Physical contact is one of the best stress relievers there is.
2. Find fun ways that are enjoyable to exercise. Breathe deep, stretch your muscles often, skip rope, go for a bike ride, jog - do something active and fun.
3. Get things that are troubling off your chest. Bottling up feelings increase stress. Feel free to rant or complain, express your disappointment, if someone hurts your feelings, tell them.
4. Talk to an understanding friend or loving relative. A sympathetic listener can be quite helpful. They become "band-aid friends". A band-aid friend helps prevent you from bleeding to death. You must find one if you don't already have one!
5. Schedule more fun. Don't give up seeing friends and doing the things you enjoy because you "have too much to do." Work goes faster and produces less stress when fun is a part of your life.
6. Get a Massage. Treat yourself and notice your tension melt away under the touch of experienced fingers. Even a talented amateur such as a friend can do a great job.
7. Prepare yourself to be patient and wait. Long lines anywhere or a delay at the dentist's office is almost pleasant with a great book in hand.
8. Find the Humor in everything. Every disaster has something funny about it.
9. Lower your standards to be more relaxed. Doing everything perfectly is not only unnecessary, it's boring. Ignore some of the dirt.
10. Get help with jobs you struggle with. Whether it's paying bills, defrosting the refrigerator, cleaning out the oven...whatever it is, beg, barter or pay someone to help; it's worth it.
11. Establish a Serene Island of your own - a comfortable chair in a corner will do, or get propped up in bed with a book or watch some TV.
12. Change your perspective. This can be tricky, but instead of worrying about what will happen if, try asking yourself "So what?" So what if a birthday gift is late. Late is better than never. Even if our worst fears are realized, they often turn out to be not as bad as we perceived or thought.
13. Count your blessings. No disaster is so bad that it couldn't be worse - it truly helps to remember that in any bad situation. 
14. Unclutter your life. Get rid of things you never use; activities you don't enjoy. Anything you can do to simplify your life helps reduce stress.
15. Pamper Yourself.
16. Get plenty of rest and sleep; our body and mind need this to recoup.
17. Learn to use relaxation techniques.
18. Find a new hobby. Or, if you have one you gave up on, try getting involved with it again.
19. Search the Internet for good joke websites that contain a variety of funny jokes, funny pictures and funny videos. You can use the Google search embedded on this blog (near the top right corner) for funny jokes galore or whatever you feel in the mood for that you think will make you laugh. If you haven't seen the most hilarious, funniest Maxine jokes, you must see them. You can see some of them if you click here. I hope you get a huge laugh as I and so many others have and still do.

Ways to Avoid Stress:

20.  Try getting up earlier in the morning. Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to help avoid morning mishaps.
21. Prepare for morning the night before. This way you will not be scrambling in the morning and feel rushed to get prepared for your day.
22. Never wear ill or tight fitting clothes. Shoes that pinch or a waistband that binds can be bothersome and stressful all day.
23. Don't rely on your memory. Practice making notes for yourself on things to do and remember.
24. Practice preventative maintenance. Keep automobiles, heaters, air conditioners, washers, dryers, etc., cleaned and serviced. You'll find you'll have fewer breakdowns.
25. Make duplicates of all keys. Exchange house and car keys with a trusted neighbor or hide them where you alone can get to them.
26. Say 'No" more often. Learn to turn down invitations, requests and activities you have no interest in; without feeling bad or guilty. 
27. Walk everywhere you can. Exercise has a soothing effect.
28. Play games with your kids if you have any, or loved ones such as trusting family members. Make up new games or change up the game rules on an existing game to add some spunk. It's creative and can be very humorous for all.

Points to Remember:


29. Trust your irritation level.
30. Be patient.
31. Take one step at a time.
32. There are unlimited options.
33. Coping skills are learned so they can be changed.
34. Increase your available skills.
35. Self-responsibility is required.

I hope these tips on how to reduce stress in your life  help you. Just remember, life's too short to be miserable and consumed by everyday stresses.

Live your life to its fullest (Carpe diem - a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace that has become an aphorism. It is popularly translated as "seize the day". Carpe literally means "to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, gather", but Ovid used the word in the sense of, "to enjoy, seize, use, make use of".  

(Source of the above last paragraph on Carpe Diem: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpe_diem)

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts on this topic. I'm sure you have more Stress reducers you can add to this list. There's plenty of ways to reduce stress, it's just a matter of finding what works for you.

Feel free to share a good joke if you have one that's not already on this website. Cheers!

Hire An Experienced Lawyer Because Divorce Is No Laughing Matter

We all know that divorce is not a laughing matter, especially when there are children involved. Unfortunately, many children tend to blame themselves for their parents divorce, which is just not right. We need to educate our children more on this touchy subject to make them understand somehow that it is not their fault.

If you are in the process of divorce or considering getting one and you live in the Los Angles area, you probably want to hire the best lawyer who knows what they're doing. Well, this law firm (Stolar & Associates) specialize in Family all law. If you need a california prenuptial agreement or a prenuptial agreement lawyer who will be able to help you, than check out these lawyers at Los Angeles Divorce Lawyers. They understand what families go through when it comes to divorce because they have over 25 years of experience and have helped numerous people with their family lawsuits.

If you don't have a good lawyer chances are you are going to be taken advantage of and walked all over and feel very stuck and unsure of your own self. It's not a good way to feel and live each day. Do it for your children and yourself because you know you deserve the best outcome.

If I were living near Stolar & Associates, I would certainly hire them if I were involved in a divorce. When I separated from my daughters Dad, I wish I could have went through them, but unfortunately I never did get a lawyer and have suffered for it over the past 7 years and counting. I do regret not looking for a great lawyer when I really needed one. Now it's too late for me. Don't be like me in that sense if you want the best for yourself and children.

It can't hurt to try Stolar & Associates out; they do free consultations, so you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. They have so much to offer you and your family.

Here is their contact information:

Stolar & Associates, A Professional Law Corporation
11500 Olympic Blvd. Fourth Floor Los Angeles
(310) 288-1828 http://www.stolar-law.com

I wish you all the best luck in the world with your lawsuit.

Poor Little David - Funny Joke About Classroom Stories

What a cute joke this is. I thought it was quite humorous. lol

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

'My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.'


The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little David Aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?'

'No,' said David, 'He plays for the Edmonton Oilers but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.'

Worse Parents Ever - Funny Video

This is a funny video of parents trying to scare their kids after they stayed up all night watching Chainsaw Massacre. They got em pretty good. lol

 

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!

Grandma's Birth Control Pills

This joke is pretty funny. It's about a grandmother who uses birth control pills to help her sleep at night. lol.

 

Feel free to share a good joke or any funny content like videos, stories, quotes, etc. if you have some that are not already on this website. Cheers!

Shirley And Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe.

So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew. She did this for the entire week.

As the two kids walked and talked, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, 'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week?

Do you know her?'

Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is.'

The little girl said, 'Well, who is she?'

'That's just Shirley Goodnest,' Timmy replied, 'and her daughter Marcy.'

'Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us? '

'Well,' Timmy explained, 'every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.
And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!'

Little Boy on the Toilet

There's a three year old boy who's sitting on the toilet for a while and his Mom thinks he's been in the bathroom for too long, so she walks in to see what's taking him so long.

When she walked in, the little boy was gripping on to the toilet seat with one hand and hitting the top of his head with the other hand.

His Mother asks, "Billy, are you alright? You've been in here for quite some time."

Billy replied, "Yeah, I'm okay, Mommy. I just haven't went 'Doody'yet."

Mom responded, "Okay, you can stay in here for a few more minutes and try to go. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head like that?"

Billy says, "Works for Kitchup."

Grandparents

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.

After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:

"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''

"You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.

She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct.

It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of them out yourself".

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.

Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandpa,"he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?

We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close.

"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.

"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.

Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

Feel free to send this to other Grandparents, soon to be Grandparent, or what the heck, send to everyone. lol Too funny to not share.

Pass or Fail the Wedding Test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

Love Poem

Catholic Heart Attack

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital .
As he was recovering a nun asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance. He replied in a raspy voice 'No health insurance.'
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied. 'No money in the bank.'
The nun asked 'Do you have a relative who could help you?'
He said 'I only have a spinster sister who is a nun.'
The nun became agitated

Amazing Vacation Rentals Around The World

Making time for our families and getting a chance to “unwind” and “rejuvenate” is a priority for many people. I believe spending quality time with those you care about helps keep families happier, healthier and closer. Nothing really beats vacationing together.

It's inspiring to see all the beautiful vacation rentals that are located around the world today. You can rent anything to suit your style and accommodate your family. There's a huge variety of vacation rentals all over the world, including houses, cabins, cottages, villas, condos, castles, mansions, chalets, and townhomes. I think it's safe to say that vacation rentals are much nicer and more desireable than any hotel. Some of my favorites are listed below. To read full details about any vacation rental, please click on links below the pictures.

Tropical Masterpiece Vacation Rental - Located in Florida (Fort Lauderdale)

To read full details of this breath taking vacation rental, visit http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/tropical-masterpiece-vacation-rental-14.html.


Luminaria Villa - located in the Virgin Islands on the St. John Island. An absolutely stunning vacation rental. Beautiful place to relax day and night.

To see more details about this vacation resort, go to: http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/luminaria-villa-4863.html


This vacation rental is a Luxury Villa on the Red Sea Israel. Quite the breathtaking view of the magnificent red mountains and red sea.

To see more details about this incredible vacation rental, go to: http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/luxury-villa-on-the-red-sea-israel-3553.html.


This is one of my favorites. A Tropical Paradise plus Complimentary Cruise. I think this is one one of the most beautiful vacation rentals out there.

Read more details about this gorgeous vacation rental, go to: http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/tropical-paradise-plus-complimentary-cruise-5629.html.


Fantastic, Romantic Vacation Condo in Kailua Kona

For more details about this premium vacation rental, visit: http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/fantastic-romantic-vacation-condo-in-kailua-kona-2525.html.


Now this last one is truly mind blowing. It's definitely another of my favorites. Rincon's finest luxury beachfront Villa/compound.

See full details about this luxurious vacation rental at: http://www.vacationrental.org/rental/rincon-s-finest-luxury-beachfront-villa-compound-5477.html.

If you're looking to rent a vacation rental, please be sure to have a look at all the amazing ones listed at vacation home rental.

Trading Sexes

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord:

I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through.

So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.

Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners
And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was

Melt Down

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.


No matter what; metal, wood, stone, anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that wouldn't melt would marry her and inherit all of the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

Jennifer's Special Day

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother- of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.

'Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm Wearing it,' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'

A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, 'Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.

Her mother just smiled and replied, 'Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'

10 Rules If You Want To See My Daughter

Rule #1

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule #2

You best not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your hands or eyes off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule #3

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their pants so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I'll be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule #4

I'm sure that you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule #5

In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule #6

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule #7

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh, and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule #8

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or pastors within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided... movies, which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule #9

Never lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless commander of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule #10

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud. I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

Our Childhood in Black and White

Go all the way to the bottom past the pictures. I think you'll enjoy it.
Whoever wrote this, described childhood to a T.












Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
'Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread Mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE .. And risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option . Even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah ... And where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front step, just before he fell off Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T; SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.