Wooden Rollercoaster Made For Scating On Foot

This is so awesome... totally insane, but a very cool invention indeed. Lol

An adrenaline junkie has taken in-line skating to new heights and set a new world record after racing down a roller coaster at speeds of 56mph.

Dirk Auer decided to go where no sane man or woman had gone before and skated down an 860 metre track in just over a minute.

Wearing specially designed in-line skates, the German made the attempt on the Mammoth roller coaster at the Trips Drill theme park in Stuttgart.

Check out the full story at: www.dailymail.co.uk

Women VS Men - Hidden Messages

Hidden Messages

Women's Terms

• Yes = No
• No = Yes
• Maybe = No
• We need = I want..
• I am sorry = you'll be sorry
• We need to talk = I need to complain
• Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
• Do what you want = You will pay for this later
• I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
• Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
• You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
• Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
• You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
• Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
• It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
• You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
• I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
• How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

Men's Terms

• I am hungry = I am hungry
• I am sleepy = am sleepy
• I am tired = I am tired
• Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
• I love you = Let's have sex now
• I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
• What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
• May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
• Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
• Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
• Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
• Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
• You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes.
• Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
• I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Cute Questions Kids Ask Grandparents

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.

After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond .I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.

We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''

"You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.

She told him she was writing a story.

"What's it about?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct.

It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of them out yourself".

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.

Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandpa,"he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?

We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure," said the young boy confidently.

"It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close.

"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.

"Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.

Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

Excercise And Getting Lucky

Some pretty funny tees. LOL

An Italian Boy Confesses

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I d on't want to ruin her reputation'

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as
well tell me now.

Was it Maria Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nin a Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her...'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My 2 lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you. '

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

4 months vacation and five good leads.

Stolen Mercedes

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Getting Permission From the Wife to Golf

Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:

First Guy:
'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend.. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.'

Second Guy:
'That's nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'