How to Shower (Male Versus Female)

Part 1: How to Shower Like a Woman:

* Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
* Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
* Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* Get in the shower.

* Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
* Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
* Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
* Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

* Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
* Rinse conditioner off hair.

* Turn off shower.
* Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
* Spray mould spots with Tilex.

* Get out of shower.
* Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: How to Shower Like a Man:

* Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* Walk naked to the bathroom.
* If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
* Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
* Get in the shower.
* Wash your face.
* Wash your armpits.
* Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
* Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
* Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
* Wash your hair.
* Make a shampoo Mohawk.
* Pee.
* Rinse off and get out of shower.
* Partially dry off.
* Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
* Admire wiener size in mirror again.
* Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

* Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
* If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
* Throw wet towel on her pillow.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and... woo-woo!!!