Importance of Walking

• Walking 20 minutes can add to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

• My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old, and we haven't a clue where the hell he is.

• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

• The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

• I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

• I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to actually go there.

• Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

• I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

• The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

• I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill was enough.

• We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our skulls. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND...

• Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.