Marriage...

+You have to choices in life: you can stay single and miserable, or you can get married and wish you were dead.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an "ad" in the classifieds: "HUSBAND WANTED". The next day, she received 100 letters and they all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

80% of married men cheat in the USA. The other 20% cheat in Canada.

Young son to his father: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad to son: "That happens in every country, son."

Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"

First Guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "Your lucky, mine's still alive!"