Abstinence

A young couple wanted to join a church, the pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.

"You're back so soon... Is there a problem?", the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month", the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult, however, we managed to obstain through sheer willpower."

"The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."

"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible; anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."

"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."

"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."