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Breakfast in Paris

By: Bonnie W On: Sunday, November 18, 2007
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  • This is a riot!! Make sure you scroll down to the Map after you read the joke! Watch for little Australian Man to walk across the Map.

    An Australian is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him.

    The Australian ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

    Frenchman: "You Australian folk eat the whole bread??"

    Australian (in a bad mood): "Of course."

    Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."

    The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

    The Australian listens in silence.

    The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

    Australian "Of Course."

    Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

    "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to Australia ."

    After a moment of silence, The Australian then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

    Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

    Australian "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

    Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

    Australian: "We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."

    Hope the Australian walks across the map for you.

    Most Functional English Word

    By: Bonnie W On: Sunday, November 18, 2007
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  • THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

    HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE

    THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

    Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.
    Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.

    There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
    You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

    You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.


    Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

    Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

    You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

    You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

    Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

    When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

    And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

    I was advised to pass this along, if I give a shit; or not to if I don't give a shit!

    Well, Shit, it's time to go. I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head........... Well, Shit Happens!!!