A young boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.
He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.
He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast in a bad mood and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?
Abstinence
A young couple wanted to join a church, the pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.
"You're back so soon... Is there a problem?", the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month", the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult, however, we managed to obstain through sheer willpower."
"The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible; anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."
"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."
The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.
"You're back so soon... Is there a problem?", the pastor inquired.
"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month", the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
"Well, the first week was difficult, however, we managed to obstain through sheer willpower."
"The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible; anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."
"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church."
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."
Hilarious, Crazy, Cool, Spun out, Insane and Cute Kitties!
Hilarious, Crazy, Cool, Spun out, Insane and Cute Kitties!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
![[Valid Atom 1.0]](http://www.funnyjokesgalore.com/images/valid-atom.png "Validate my Atom 1.0 feed")
