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Cute, Short, Funny Jokes (Various)

By: Bonnie W On: Monday, January 09, 2012
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  • Here are a few good funny jokes that I stumbled upon and wanted to share with you. Hope you get a laugh from them :)


    A business executive visits his dear Chinese friend in the hospital. "Li kai yang qi guan," says the sick man feebly.
    The executive desperately wants to help him, but he doesn't speak Mandarin.

    "Li kai yang qi guan!" says the patient, as he draws his last breath.

    Later that year, the executive is in Shanghai on business when he finally learns the meaning of Li kai yang qi guan: "Get off my oxygen tube."

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    "Does your dog bite?"

    "No."

    (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)

    "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"

    "That is not my dog."
    (Scene from one of the old Pink Panther films)


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    Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans. One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven.

    Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost.

    A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?".

    "Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya. First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!".

    "Thank God!" Joe shouts...

    "The bad news is... "You're pitching tomorrow."

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    A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Thanksgiving dinner.

    The family members bowed their heads in expectation.

    He began his prayer, thanking the Lord for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked the Lord for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank the Lord for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.

    Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank the Lord for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"


    Source:  http://www.buzzle.com 

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