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Doomed By Stupidity

By: Bonnie W On: Monday, October 06, 2008
  • Let's Get Social
  • Is the Human Race doomed by stupidity? Here's some further proof in case you don't believe it is... the following label instructions are actually printed on consumer product packaging:

    1. On a blanket from Taiwan - "NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO".

    2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - "OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU".

    3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - "USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE".

    4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - "AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT".

    5. On a New Zealand insect spray - "THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS."

    6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - "TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING". (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

    7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - "LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET".

    8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - "OPEN OTHER END".

    9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - "WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?"

    10. On a Sears hairdryer - "DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING".

    11. On a bag of Fritos - "YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE". (The shoplifter special!)

    12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - "USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP". (And that would be how?)

    13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - "DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN". (Too late! You lose!)

    14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING". (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

    15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: "KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN". (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

    16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - "FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY". (As opposed to use in outer space?)

    17. On a Japanese food processor - "NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE". (Now I'm curious.)

    18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - "WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS". (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)

    19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - "OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS". (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

    20. On a Swedish chainsaw - "DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS". (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

    21. On a child's superman costume - "WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY". (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

    22. On some frozen dinners: "SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST".

    23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: "FITS ONE HEAD".

    24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY".

    25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: "DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY".

    26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: "MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS". (DUHH!)

    1 comments:

    1. Bonnie - #20 - What are they thinking? Loved them all. Thanks.

      ReplyDelete