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HELLO Tech Support

By: Bonnie W On: Friday, December 04, 2009
  • Let's Get Social
  • Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?'
    Operator: Where did you get that number, sir?'
    Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
    Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open..'
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
    Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I Need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the Number for Jack?'
    Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
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    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am Traveling in Australia?'
    Operator: 'Does the product name give you a clue?'
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
    'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change
    the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Directory Enquiries
    Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
    Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
    Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
    Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland'
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'
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    Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
    Customer: 'OK.'
    Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
    Customer: 'No.'
    Tech Support: 'OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
    Customer: 'No.'
    Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
    Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
    Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
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    I LOVE THIS ONE!!!

    This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should
    have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline,
    which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
    (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
    Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
    Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
    Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
    Operator: 'Went away?'
    Caller: 'They disappeared'
    Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
    Caller: 'Nothing.'
    Operator: 'Nothing??'
    Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

    Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
    Caller: 'How do I tell?'
    Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
    Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
    Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
    Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
    Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
    Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
    Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
    Caller: 'I don't know.'
    Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
    Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
    Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
    Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
    Caller: 'No.'
    Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
    Caller: 'Okay, here it is'
    Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
    Caller: 'I can't reach.'
    Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
    Caller: 'No.'
    Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
    Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
    Operator: 'Dark?'
    Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
    Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light than.'
    Caller: 'I can't..'
    Operator: 'No? Why not?'
    Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
    Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
    Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
    Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
    Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
    Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose.. What do I tell them?'
    Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

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