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Technical Support Calls

By: Bonnie W On: Sunday, July 26, 2009
  • Let's Get Social
  • The following are a number of transcribed conversations to technical support departments:

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Christine says: A white one...

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No , wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
    desk.. Sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

    Customer: Your left or my left?

    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and --.
    Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

    ==============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ==============

    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.

    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies..

    ===============

    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer:! OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.

    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:

    Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?

    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    ===============

    And last, but not least...

    Tech support: "Okay Mickey, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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