Funny Technology

Funny Technology seems to be becoming quite the thing. I'm noticing more and more lately that there are so many funny things about technology that are even unimaginable. I can't get over some of what's out there these days. I'm sure there's a ton of things that have been done with technology that we have not even heard of yet. A lot of the things we can do with technology is so cool. Check out some of these funny technology things at Funny Technology.

Funny Animal Pictures

You've got to see these funny animal pictures. They are so cute. You can view them at Funny Animal Pictures. There's cute, funny kittens, lions, birds, giraffes, dogs and more funny animals to see there. I think you will enjoy them.

Funny Signs

If you would like to see some funny pictures of signs, I just put some on here at the following page: Funny Sign Pictures. Who doesn't enjoy funny pictures? Am I right? I hope you get a good laugh out of these.

Your Dog Is Keeping Me Awake - Funny Short Joke

John, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:00 A.M. by his ringing telephone.
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.
John thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
The next morning at precisely 4:00 A.M., John called his neighbor back.
"Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to say that I don't have a dog."

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Funny, Sarcastic, Witty Quotes

Here's some awfully funny, sarcastic and witty quotes:

• You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
• Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
• Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
• Talk is cheap, but that's okay, so are you.
• If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be an apocalypse!
• This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
• A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
• Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
• Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
• Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
• Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
• Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
• He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
• I bet you get bullied a lot.
• I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
• I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
• I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

Read More

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Some Funny True Signs

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Funny Patent Joke

This joke is funny! I hope you find the humor in it too. Comment if you like.

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle."

"A fottle?

That's a stupid name. Can you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton."

"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that."

"In that case," says the man, "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

Source: Squido 

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Witty Things To Say

For those of you looking for some witty things to say...

• He who laughs last , didn't get it 
• Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder
• Politicians and diapers have 1 thing in common; they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason
• I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. By Lily Tomlin
• Best time to give advice to children is while they're young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. By Evan Esar
• Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. By P. Poundstone
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
• The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room
• Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing. - Alexander Woollcott 
• Jerome K. Jerome: "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. By Will Rogers
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think
• Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life

There's some really funny witty things to say here also... they are hilarious one liner jokes. Enjoy :)

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Museum of Salt & Pepper Shakers

Who knew there were so many different kinds of salt and pepper shakers? I was shocked to see that there's an actual museum just dedicated to housing all sorts of salt and pepper shaker displays. It's pretty cool. I thought you might get a kick out of this if you weren't already aware of it.

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Amazing Real Birth Stories

James Elgin Gil was born 4.5 months premature but he managed to survive. He weighed 482 grams and this was considered to be healthy which is why he was put into intensive care.

 It is not normal for mixed-race couples to have children that are ‘differently colored’ but there are certain cases every now and then which go beyond what is normal and ‘known’. Miya and Leah Durrant came into the world in 2008 looking alike but with differently colored skin and eyes. What’s more, the couple had given birth to a pair of twins in 2001 and they were different colored as well!

Bhuri Kalbi’s baby was born in the toilet of a moving train. She was traveling to some unknown destination and visited the restroom which is when the baby slipped out. The baby landed on the tracks but miraculously, managed to survive and is healthy today.

Carolina Chirindza’s town got flooded one summer because of which she was forced to climb a tree to save herself. She stayed that way for over four days and on the fourth day, she gave birth to a baby girl. Fortunately, a helicopter spotted them and helped her climb down along with her baby.

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Top 10 Funniest Giggling Babies on YouTube

Babies are so hilarious when they laugh and smile and make faces. Actually, they are just so cute the way they are, but very funny when they can't stop laughing like these cutest babies ever in this YouTube video of the top 10 funny babies.
I've seen a lot of these videos before by themselves, but this is a collection of the cutest ones so far according to this video. Enjoy :)



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Funny Prank - Baby For Sale

Imagine walking into a pet store or just walking by one and taking notice of a baby inside the window stating "For Sale"? People's reactions are quite funny towards this prank. Check it out for yourself. I think this video is hilarious.

 

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Hilarious, Funny Smart Phone Auto Correct Messages

Ever been the website called damnyouautocorrect? It's hilarious. These so called 'smart phones' and their spell check is not so smart after all. Here's some of what I mean below (LOL). These messages that come out of auto corrections are just too funny. If you have a smart phone, you'll get a good laugh from these "auto corrects".

Source: damnyouautocorrect 

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How Funny And Fearless Animals Can Be

This video shows just how funny and fearless animals can be! Watch and see, it's hilarious!

Great Video of Funny Pictures Taken at the Right Time And Place

Here's a great video of funny pictures taken at the right time and place. A lot of "OOh's and Aww's"..

Funny Video Of Babies Rollerskating (Commercial)

This is a funny baby commercial promoting water by rollerskating like professionals. It's hilarious and quite adorable.

A Compilation of 100 Great, Funny Videos Ever

A hilarious YouTube video of 100 of the greatest, funniest things caught on tape. Enjoy...and laugh lots!

Babies In Costumes Are So Cute And Funny

These pictures of babies dressed up in cute costumes are just way too cute and funny!

 Credit For These Pics go to: buburuza.net

Some Funny Cartoons To Laugh At

Here's some funny cartoons for you to get a laugh from. A bit twisted, but meant to be funny.

Death Row For Bad Mice

Should Say Beware of Dog Sniper (lol)

Early Acupuncture in the Bum! Takes Away Other Pain Though

When Fish Whistle, They Fart Bubbles

Smart? Yet Dumb Fish!

Pics Source: Credit to buburuza.net

Could This be the First Politician?

An archaeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what's believed to be the first Politician.

Source: Thanks To Duncan for sharing this funny joke.

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A Funny Christmas to Treasure And Always Remember

This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize.

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go; you'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?' 'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked.

My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'

'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.

I kept my mouth shut.

'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.

'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!'

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

I can't wait until next Christmas!

Source: Thanks to Duncan R for sharing this funny joke.

How To Tell When It's Time For A Vacation

Take this little Stress Test to find out whether you need a vacation.

I am not sure exactly how this works, but this is amazingly accurate.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at the Mayo Clinic and later at Fletcher Medical Center in Burlington.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.

A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress will find many differences between the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds, the more stress that person is experiencing. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may need to take a vacation.

No Need to Reply, I'll be on Vacation Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out of it alive anyway.

Source: Thanks to Cathy for sharing this funny stress test joke

Funnest Jet Boat Ride Ever

Now this looks like the funnest jet boat ride EVER! Thrilling ride I can only imagine. Very cool. Sort of reminds me of road rage only on waters lol

Guilty Of Stereotyping Older People - Funny Short Joke

Here's another Gooder! LOL

Have you ever been guilty of looking at someone your age and thinking to yourself, 'Surely I can't look That Old'?

WELL....

I'm Alice and I was sitting in a chair in the waitiing room at my dentist's office for the first time. I took notice of his diploma, with his full name on it.

Suddenly, I happened to remember a handsome, dark-haired, tall guy in my highschool with the same me for about 30 or so years ago!

Could He be the same guy I went to school with and even had a secret crush on? Way Back Then?

When I seen him, however, I instantly discarded any such thoughts.

This guy was balding, had grey hair with deep lined facial indents. He had to be way too old to have been my classmate.

After my teeth examination, I ended up asking him anyways if he went to St. Peters High School.

"Yes, Yes, I did. I'm A Mustang," He gleamed with pride.

"What year did you graduate?" I asked.

"In 1975, he answered. Why do you ask?"

"You were in MY class!, I exclaimed.

He closely looked at me and then that Ugly, Balding, Grey-Haired, S.O.B, Fat Ass, asked: "What did you Teach?"

Lol, it's amazing how some people age a lot faster than others. It's funny how we perceive others to older than they are, yet older than we think we look. Haha.

Cure Headaches Forever - Hilarious Joke

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.

The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a mens clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... A new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... Size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2neck."

Joe was surprised and chuckled again, "That's right, how did you know?

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... Size 36."

Joe let out another laugh, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

What were you thinking she was going to say? LOL Not what I thought. This is so funny.  

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Jim's Anniversary Present - Funny Short Joke

Jim was in trouble. He had forgotten that the next day was his Wedding Anniversary. His wife was getting quite fumed suspecting that her husband forgot. She ended up advising him, "Tomorrow morning, I trust I will find a present from you in our driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BEST BE THERE!!" So, the next morning arrived and Jim got ready and left for work bright and early. When Jim's wife awoke, she scrambled to to window to peek and see if her husband took her to heart. Low and behold, she sure enough took notice of a box that was gift-wrapped right in the middle of the driveway. Somewhat confused, Jim's wife threw on her robe and ran out to the driveway. She brought the box into the house. She opened it and found a brand spanking new bathroom weight scale. Since then, Jim has been missing... I thought this joke was quite hilarious. It's not meant to offend anyone, so please don't be. It's only a joke...meant to be funny and make you laugh. Please laugh with me. :) Thanks much, Cheers.

Looking For A New Hairstyle? Check Out These Funny, Cool, Weird Ones in This YouTube Video

Have you ever had a hairstyle like any of these ones in this YouTube video? Wow, some pretty funny, funky, strange, cool and just totally weird ones let me say. lol.

Four Short Hilarious Commercials That Were Banned - YouTube

Can You figure out why these four commercials were banned? They are hilarious, but unfortunately they still got banned for some funny reason or other.

See for yourself and leave your comments please.:)

35 Tips On How To Relieve, Avoid And Reduce Stress

Although a good sense of humor can't cure everything, it does prove to have many benefits to laughter, therefore, relieving stress. 

Here's 35 ways to Relieve, Avoid And Reduce stress:
Into each life some stress must fall. But when "some" turns into "too much", try a few of these stress building tips.

Stress can be related to unhappy or happy events. It can be triggered by trivial matters as well as major life crises. It also builds up gradually when you have more things to do than time in which to do them. Some doctors believe that 90% of all illnesses are stress related. But stress is not necessarily bad. A life without it would be stagnant and boring.

There are many practical ways to avoid, reduce or relieve stress.

Relieving Stress:

1. Touch - hold hands, stroke a pet, hug someone you love. Physical contact is one of the best stress relievers there is.
2. Find fun ways that are enjoyable to exercise. Breathe deep, stretch your muscles often, skip rope, go for a bike ride, jog - do something active and fun.
3. Get things that are troubling off your chest. Bottling up feelings increase stress. Feel free to rant or complain, express your disappointment, if someone hurts your feelings, tell them.
4. Talk to an understanding friend or loving relative. A sympathetic listener can be quite helpful. They become "band-aid friends". A band-aid friend helps prevent you from bleeding to death. You must find one if you don't already have one!
5. Schedule more fun. Don't give up seeing friends and doing the things you enjoy because you "have too much to do." Work goes faster and produces less stress when fun is a part of your life.
6. Get a Massage. Treat yourself and notice your tension melt away under the touch of experienced fingers. Even a talented amateur such as a friend can do a great job.
7. Prepare yourself to be patient and wait. Long lines anywhere or a delay at the dentist's office is almost pleasant with a great book in hand.
8. Find the Humor in everything. Every disaster has something funny about it.
9. Lower your standards to be more relaxed. Doing everything perfectly is not only unnecessary, it's boring. Ignore some of the dirt.
10. Get help with jobs you struggle with. Whether it's paying bills, defrosting the refrigerator, cleaning out the oven...whatever it is, beg, barter or pay someone to help; it's worth it.
11. Establish a Serene Island of your own - a comfortable chair in a corner will do, or get propped up in bed with a book or watch some TV.
12. Change your perspective. This can be tricky, but instead of worrying about what will happen if, try asking yourself "So what?" So what if a birthday gift is late. Late is better than never. Even if our worst fears are realized, they often turn out to be not as bad as we perceived or thought.
13. Count your blessings. No disaster is so bad that it couldn't be worse - it truly helps to remember that in any bad situation. 
14. Unclutter your life. Get rid of things you never use; activities you don't enjoy. Anything you can do to simplify your life helps reduce stress.
15. Pamper Yourself.
16. Get plenty of rest and sleep; our body and mind need this to recoup.
17. Learn to use relaxation techniques.
18. Find a new hobby. Or, if you have one you gave up on, try getting involved with it again.
19. Search the Internet for good joke websites that contain a variety of funny jokes, funny pictures and funny videos. You can use the Google search embedded on this blog (near the top right corner) for funny jokes galore or whatever you feel in the mood for that you think will make you laugh. If you haven't seen the most hilarious, funniest Maxine jokes, you must see them. You can see some of them if you click here. I hope you get a huge laugh as I and so many others have and still do.

Ways to Avoid Stress:

20.  Try getting up earlier in the morning. Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to help avoid morning mishaps.
21. Prepare for morning the night before. This way you will not be scrambling in the morning and feel rushed to get prepared for your day.
22. Never wear ill or tight fitting clothes. Shoes that pinch or a waistband that binds can be bothersome and stressful all day.
23. Don't rely on your memory. Practice making notes for yourself on things to do and remember.
24. Practice preventative maintenance. Keep automobiles, heaters, air conditioners, washers, dryers, etc., cleaned and serviced. You'll find you'll have fewer breakdowns.
25. Make duplicates of all keys. Exchange house and car keys with a trusted neighbor or hide them where you alone can get to them.
26. Say 'No" more often. Learn to turn down invitations, requests and activities you have no interest in; without feeling bad or guilty. 
27. Walk everywhere you can. Exercise has a soothing effect.
28. Play games with your kids if you have any, or loved ones such as trusting family members. Make up new games or change up the game rules on an existing game to add some spunk. It's creative and can be very humorous for all.

Points to Remember:


29. Trust your irritation level.
30. Be patient.
31. Take one step at a time.
32. There are unlimited options.
33. Coping skills are learned so they can be changed.
34. Increase your available skills.
35. Self-responsibility is required.

I hope these tips on how to reduce stress in your life  help you. Just remember, life's too short to be miserable and consumed by everyday stresses.

Live your life to its fullest (Carpe diem - a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace that has become an aphorism. It is popularly translated as "seize the day". Carpe literally means "to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, gather", but Ovid used the word in the sense of, "to enjoy, seize, use, make use of".  

(Source of the above last paragraph on Carpe Diem: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpe_diem)

Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts on this topic. I'm sure you have more Stress reducers you can add to this list. There's plenty of ways to reduce stress, it's just a matter of finding what works for you.

Feel free to share a good joke if you have one that's not already on this website. Cheers!