Funny, Sarcastic, Witty Quotes

Here's some awfully funny, sarcastic and witty quotes:

• You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
• Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
• Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
• Talk is cheap, but that's okay, so are you.
• If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be an apocalypse!
• This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
• A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
• Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
• Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
• Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
• Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
• Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
• Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
• He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.
• I bet you get bullied a lot.
• I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
• I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
• I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
• I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

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