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How to Shower (Male Versus Female)

By: Unknown On: Sunday, May 27, 2007
  • Let's Get Social
  • Part 1: How to Shower Like a Woman:

    * Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    * Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    * If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    * Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    * Get in the shower.
    * Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    * Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    * Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    * Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
    * Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    * Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    * Rinse conditioner off hair.
    * Turn off shower.
    * Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    * Spray mould spots with Tilex.
    * Get out of shower.
    * Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    * Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    * Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
    * If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Part 2: How to Shower Like a Man:

    * Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    * Walk naked to the bathroom.
    * If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
    * Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
    * Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    * Get in the shower.
    * Wash your face.
    * Wash your armpits.
    * Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
    * Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    * Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    * Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    * Wash your hair.
    * Make a shampoo Mohawk.
    * Pee.
    * Rinse off and get out of shower.
    * Partially dry off.
    * Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
    * Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    * Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    * Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    * If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
    * Throw wet towel on her pillow.

    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. Have a great day! Oh, and... woo-woo!!!


    1. Ha ha ha, I'm laughing my way to the bathroom....

      Good one!

    2. So ture, so true. This had me laughing hard.

    3. Definitely sounds like my house without the woo woo sounds.... I am the only female with the husband and FOUR teenage boys.....